Big Miscellaneous Fic Dump
Feb. 1st, 2009 08:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hoopyfroodJust a few odds and ends that I've had knocking around for a while. All un-beta'd as I wanted to just get them up. I've had them saved long enough, so I apologize for a few that are a bit rushed. Enjoy! :D
Tactics
Sho has seen a lot whilst being Arashi and, if asked, he'd easily say that there isn't much left that would take him by surprise. But he always forgets to consider the 'Aiba Factor'. What comes out of his mouth, and the certain things Sho has to stop him from putting in his mouth, still astounds him. And maybe he forgets because he tries to block those moments out most of the time.
His hand stills on the door handle when he hears a big thump from the other side of the door. Mumbling and shuffling about. Alarm bells start going off and if he could, Sho would run for the hills. Unfortunately, his wallet is in there and he's taking Jun out for dinner. Cautiously he pushes the door open, barely restraining from closing his eyes. Sticking his head in he almost wishes he did, favouring to wander in and search blindly for his wallet. But he considers himself relatively sane.
His eyes zero in on the two people on the small sofa in the dressing room. One being his band mate and the other, well, he's not sure who that is, “Aiba.”
“Yes.” Aiba replies politely. Too politely, with his legs crossed and back straight.
“What are you doing?” He walks in further, closing the door behind him. No one needs to see this, it really would just confirm a lot about Arashi that Sho isn't sure he really wants people knowing.
“Me? I'm just,” He grabs a random book, “Reading.”
He peers closer at what he can see of the figure next to Aiba. Gloved hands tapping out a rhythm on a bare knee.
“Is that Daigo-san?”
Aiba hesitates before answering, fiddling with the pages of the manga in his lap, “No.”
“Hello Daigo.” Sho greets as he walks over to the table to grab his bag, shocking himself that he can manage to sound so casual.
“Yo.” Comes the muffled reply, Daigo's deep and lazy voice still very distinct even through the material.
Aiba groans and slides the jacket off his head, frowning. Daigo pops out from the makeshift hiding place, hair sticking up in all directions, and raises his hand to his temple in a salute to Sho as he walks back over to them.
“Just for reference, I would of been less surprised if I walked in on the two of you making out, no, having sex then walking in to see Daigo with your coat over his head.” Sho stuffs his wallet into his jeans and pauses as he looks over at the two men staring at him.
“With no trousers on. Your coat. Over his head. With no trousers on.” He pinches his nose in despair at that after thought, as it really shouldn't be an after thought. Aiba's done it, he's finally brought him down to his level.
“Duly noted Sho-chan.” Aiba chirps as he swings a leg over Daigo's thighs, ready to pull himself into his lap. Daigo all to willing to go with the flow as he reaches out to help.
“Wait until I'm gone now though!” Sho shrieks before quickly leaving, slamming the door shut loudly so hopefully it'll remind them to lock the damn thing.
Really though, he should just get used to it because northing's ever going to change.
Second Meeting
He sees the familiar head bobbing in and out of the crowd. Swerving between the mass of bodies and trying to stay on his feet as he gets violently jostled about, disappearing for a few seconds before resurfacing. Matsuoka is about to call out when he sees a big burly man, too preoccupied on his phone to see the younger man, whack forcefully into him.
In a flash Matsuoka is struggling through the crowd and at the other mans side, steadying him with an arm around his shoulders and holding him in close protectively. The smaller man looks up in surprise, obvious confusion flickering across his features before eventually settling into recognition. Maybe with just a tinge of awkwardness as he realises he's pressed into someone he doesn't really know.
“I didn't know if it was you or not,” Matsuoka grins down at him, “Kind of glad it is now.” His glasses slipping down his nose as he tilts his head.
“Do I look really that different without pyjamas on?” The man jokes and Matsuoka smiles widely, steering them both out of the crowd.
Once they're out and on a relatively clear side walk, Matsuoka finally releases the shorter man from his hold. Quickly thrusting out a hand in greeting.
“I'm Matsuoka.”
“Taichi.” He grasps Matsuoka's hand and shakes it firmly.
Matsuoka just about stops himself from saying, yeah I know, because he really didn't. He doesn't know a thing about this man. But he can't help but think it strange that it felt like he did. Or does. Or, hell, should.
“I work odd hours, wouldn't of been good for me to keep a dog.” He blurts out, feeling like he should explain himself before they go any further.
Taichi smiles slightly, feeling immediate fondness towards the man who really isn't at all like he expected. He's sort of cute, “My apartment's kind of small.” He adds just as simply and Matsuoka nods in understanding.
They walk side by side, Taichi idly playing with the strap of his messenger bag that's crossed against his chest. Matsuoka swinging his briefcase back and forth as he contemplates whether or not to ask. Ask what he's been hoping he'd get the chance to ever since he saw the other man on that rainy day.
He's bumped into the three other men already. The sushi restaurant by his house is actually owned by Joshima, and Yamaguchi often frequents it. He finds himself in there with the two of them an ever increasing amount lately. Their company comfortable and relaxing. He literally ran into Nagase, and the two of them quickly hit it off. Meeting up regularly for a drink. But Taichi was the one he couldn't stop thinking about and, up until now, hadn't met properly. Well, here goes nothing.
“I may not have the time for a pet, but human beings are usually an exception.” He begins rather sheepishly, “My apartment is close, just a couple of streets away.” That's enough surely, because then the other man can make what he wants of it. Plus if he gets turned down, Matsuoka can pretend he never asked anything particularly suggestive in the first place and didn't make a complete fool out of himself.
Taichi raises his eyebrows, amusement playing across his face. Smiling rather mischievously, making his eyes crinkle up at the corners.
“Really? Mine is closer and I suppose I could make room for you.” He doesn't wait for Matsuoka to reply and takes him by the arm as they change direction. Going to the right as opposed to straight ahead where Matsuoka was planning on going. But if it's Taichi leading him, Matsuoka is pretty sure he'll always be willing to go right.
Camaraderie
Yano climbs the already familiar stairs of the TV-Yuuhi building. It's not even that late into filming today and he already needs to escape. Clear his head and cool down, because if he had stuck around that pompous idiot any longer he would of blown again. Regardless of what Manabe says, he is trying his best. For her and for himself. But that doesn't stop it from being difficult.
The cold air hits him as he opens the door to the roof, momentarily stealing his breath away. Hunched forward over by the wall, in Yano's usual spot, is Saitou. Legs drawn up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees. He actually wondered where the other man had gone. He'd greeted Yano cheerfully, just like any other morning, but after a few knocks and jabs courtesy of that damn Prince it wasn't hard to see that Saitou's optimism was being slowly chipped away at. About an hour or so ago, he excused himself and hadn't returned. No one seemed to bothered though.
He walks up to the other man and presses the warm side of the cup of coffee he was carrying against Saitou's temple, keeping it there until he tilts his head slightly to look up at Yano.
“Here.”
Saitou looks so desperately uncertain at the simple gesture, that Yano nudges his head with the cup a little harder then necessary whilst trying to keep his face passive. Saitou eventually reaches up and takes the offered drink, nodding in thanks as he takes off the lid and breathes in the scent. Resigning to the fact he's out of luck on having a bit of alone time, Yano sits down next to Saitou. Stretching his legs out in front of him.
A few minutes pass and he begins to feel restless. He clicks his tongue and lets out a short hissing noise as he realises why.
“Annoying.” He leans his head back against the wall, the wind ruffling his hair and making his cheeks sting a little bit.
“What is?” Saitou shuffles around, taking small sips of the coffee.
“The fact that I've already got so used to you being all happy and energetic, that seeing you like this kind of pisses me off.” He shifts around so he can pull a packet of cigarettes and a lighter out the back pocket of his jeans. He takes a stick out and places it between his lips, lighting it easily and breathing in deeply.
He glances to the side, seeing Saitou smiling lightly to himself and playing absentmindely with the ridged side of the cup. Legs now stretched out along side Yano's own, almost touching.
“Shit, your moods sure fluctuate.” He mumbles round the cigarette, blowing smoke out the corner of his mouth.
“I just suddenly feel a lot better.” Saitou smiles warmly at him and Yano has to turn away, frowning in confusion because he suddenly feels a lot better too.
Yasu the Friendly Ghost
Subaru isn't shocked when he sees a ghost in front of him. He's always liked to think that he's been able to sense other presences and has always maintained the stance that death isn't the end, not so much in the religious sense mind you. He's not scared either. He's always been a fan of horror films and the prospect of ghosts has always intrigued him rather then freaked him out. It's not that he's particularly into the occult either, but it is an interesting subject. Sure he had a couple of upside down crucifixes when he was a teenager but that's because he thought he was being cool and mysterious.
Subaru's also always wanted to live in a haunted house, though has never actually experienced anything in his current home. Despite Maru always insisting that his apartment block was built on an ancient burial ground that is. The first time he said so, It freaked Ryo out so much he wouldn't come round for a whole month. Of course, they rightfully teased him. So much so that he had reached the point where he felt his masculinity was being threatened and he eventually forced himself back into Subaru's house.
What does leave Subaru confused is this particular ghost. He isn't at all what Subaru envisioned a ghost to look like. He isn't completely white or floating like the stereotypical image many people would imagine. There is a slight misty quality to him, but he looks pretty solid and whole. If you squint hard enough you could probably see through him, but only just. The colours of his rather outlandish clothes and painted nails vibrant. He's quite striking actually. He certainly doesn't look like he's been dead for very long. Maru was obviously bullshitting about the ancient burial thing.
“Hi.” He chirps and Subaru just gawks. He can't help but wonder what he's got to be happy about, he's dead after all. Subaru reasons he wouldn't be a ray of sunshine if he was dead and stuck haunting some random guy.
“Hello.” He says slowly as he drops his keys onto the coffee table and throws his jacket over the sofa.
“I'm Yasu, I've been haunting you for a while now but I thought I'd introduce myself.”
“I'm Subaru.” He nods his head in greeting.
The ghost giggles and smiles widely, “I know who you are, I wouldn't not know the name of the guy I've been haunting.” Fair enough.
Subaru raises an eyebrow, “You say you've been haunting me, well, no offence but you haven't exactly done a good job. I didn't even know you were here.”
The boy taps his finger against his bottom lip, “You kind of seem like a nervous wreck. Always rushing in and out. I didn't want to disturb you when you finally got relaxed.” A compassionate ghost. That's a new one. Though admittedly, he is all over the place a lot recently. Juggling various odd jobs whilst trying to keep the band together.
Yasu continues, “Plus, it's not like I want to scare you to death. I'm a poltergeist by trade.” He smiles proudly as he announces his occupation before realising something and his shoulders sag.
“Wait, you didn't notice that I've been moving your stuff about?” Yasu's face falls and the room seems to get colder.
“I just thought I was misplacing things.” Subaru shrugs.
“Oh wow, I suck at being a poltergeist.” He whines and pouts. A silence stretches between the two of them. Should he apologize? He's not sure what for but he sort of feels he should. It's not his fault he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Now if the kid had flipped his bed over or made his TV levitate, maybe.
Subaru goes to walk closer to the ghost but isn't watching where he's going and smacks his knee into the corner of the coffee table. The ghost laughs sweetly, but shrilly, and Subaru all but forgets the pain in his leg in favour of watching his eyes crinkle up and mouth open wide, showing perfect teeth. For someone who's dead, he sure brings a lot of life to Subaru's small living room.
But one thing has been bugging Subaru since the beginning of this whole strange encounter. The slightly morbid side of him eager to learn more about Yasu's obviously untimely demise. He's seen the Sixth Sense after all, and the ghosts in it had visible marks from their death. From a still open gunshot wound to hideous scarring from burns. Yasu looks pretty intact. Maybe it doesn't work that way in real life.
“How did you die?” Subaru ventures delicately, still clutching at his knee and rubbing at his bruised skin through his jeans. The ghost pulls a face, waving his hand dismissively.
“That's not important.” Subaru frowns. Well it sort of is. He's about to protest when Yasu points at his guitar.
“I listen to you play,” He grins widely at the man, “And sing. You're amazing.” The ghost says dreamily, clasping his hands together in front of him under his chin.
Subaru can't help but flush. All those times he's sat down and sung, assuming he's alone, but he was being listened to. Subaru's eyes widen, he should really take care as to what he does in his alone time from now on.
“It's been so long since I've picked up a guitar.” Yasu stares forlornly at the instrument propped up against the sofa, oblivious to Subaru's inner turmoil.
Subaru feels his heart ache,“Do you want me to play for you now?”
Yasu bounces eagerly on his toes and nods, quickly joining Subaru over by the sofa.
Thye both make themselves comfortable and soon he begins to play, the ghost humming the tune next to him.
“I've heard you play this a lot.” He smiles at Subaru, who can't help but smile back. Maybe he wont mind this particular ghost hanging around. After a few more moments of idle strumming, Subaru feels an icy cold on the back of his hand. Stopping his playing, he looks down to see a hand on top of his. Sending shivers up his arm and making the small hairs on his arm stand on end, raising the skin into goosebumps.
“I do want to tell you,” Yasu begins, “How I died.”
Subaru can't stop his heart beat from speeding up. Not many people get to experience this.
“It's just, it didn't happen very long ago and I suppose I'm still a bit bitter about the whole thing.” Yasu laughs but there isn't a trace of humour in it. Subaru wishes he could do something.
“Whenever you're ready, I'm here to listen.” He unconsciously goes to wrap his fingers round Yasu's hand but connects with nothing. He frowns, forgetting he can't actually touch the other man. The thought leaves a pain in his chest. He can't help but feel they should have met a long time ago.
Seemingly not noticing Subaru's expression the small ghost jumps up. His bright, and genuine Subaru notes, smile back at hearing Subaru's comforting words.
“When are you're friends coming round next?”
Subaru laughs fondly as he places the guitar down next to him.
“Hey, I know what you're thinking, but I don't think it'd be such a good idea to appear in front of them just yet.” He pauses before breaking out into a huge devious smile, “But feel free to mess with Ryo.”
House Call
Linked to my previous Ryo/Shige The Princess is in Another Castle
Shige sits in his living room turning the small piece of paper around in his hand, ripping the corners ever so slightly. So he gave in and called the plumbers number. He's man enough to admit that the prospect of another encounter like before wouldn't be something he'd be adverse to. And this time he'll be ready and not left, literally, hanging. Plus he knows for a fact Koyama is away today visiting distant relatives. Very far away and, Shige prays, with very distant relatives. Hopefully it'll be awkward and Koyama will feel deeply uncomfortable. It'll serve him right for being completely oblivious to the world around him.
He doesn't know what possessed him to call the mans work place after getting no answer from the number Ryo gave him, which was obviously a home one. He just automatically rung the number he originally contacted when his pipes burst. He just did it without thinking.
On getting through to the plumbing company, he explained he'd like to take Ryo up on his previous offer of more work. Which made the man on the other end of the line snicker and shout out to someone called Hina about something to do with owing him money.
Hearing the door bell, he immediately jumps up. Smoothing down his shirt and messing up his hair in what he assumes to be a sexy bed head style. He rushes over and eager yanks the door open.
Instead of seeing Ryo with his light yellow uniform, he comes face to face with a significantly taller man in a green jump suit. Just as attractive as Ryo but definitely more on the prettier side. Sort of bored looking, verging on spacey as he slowly looks towards Shige after tearing his eyes away from whatever he was previously gazing at to the side of Shige's house.
“I'm Ohkura Tadayoshi from Eito Plumbing. Ryo-chan's on another job at the moment. Apparently this was urgent so they sent me. Hope that's not a problem.” He even sounds bored. Not that Shige can blame him seeing as he's basically been sent to deal with someone elses work.
Shige visibly deflates but forces a small smile onto his face for the benefit of the other man. There isn't actually much, if anything, for him to do. But Shige's not about to tell him he was expecting hot plumber sex.
“That's not a problem.” He steps out of the way to let the other man through but he abruptly stops next to Shige and leans close next to his ear, placing his hand on his shoulder for balance.
“Don't worry, I'm a lot better then Ryo. I have size on my side.” He straightens up to his full height and smirks, trailing his hand down Shige's arm as he walks into the apartment. Swinging his box of tools. Maybe this is what he gets for phoning an Osaka branch. And no, he's not complaining.
Osaka Rainy Blues
For![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
shangrilove. I apologize for the ridiculously long wait.
Subaru and Maru must have got ahold of his phone at some point. A few numbers now appear to have an extra digit or two, whilst all names have been completely changed. They weren't exactly too imaginative though as Yoko's pretty sure he knows who Gorilla is. He was going to call Ueda. Feeling an ache in his chest to hear the other mans voice, hoping to bring companionship to his otherwise lonely train journey. It's times like this he wishes he could remember phone numbers with ease. He doesn't even know his own one, even though it's been the same for the past five years.
He settles for going through his inbox. Reading old saved messages. He wouldn't openly admit it, even though the rest of Kanjani8 love him for it, but he's a complete sap. The sort of person who is utterly devoted. Keeps silly little notes from his lover and re-reads them a thousand times over with a goofy smile on his face. And maybe it's testament to what Yoko means to Maru and Subaru that they didn't touch his messages from Ueda. He shifts around in his seat, propping himself up against window with his elbow. The light from the screen of his phone illuminating his face in the otherwise dull carriage.
When Ueda isn't around, the time spent in Osaka becomes a burden. It never used to be like that. Osaka was comfortable because Osaka was home. Every night he's away is the same. He twists and turns in his bedsheet. No warm body to grab on to and wrap himself around. No one to talk nonsense to on realisation he isn't the only one having trouble sleeping. He gets up in the middle of the night and just sits in the dark. Watching whatever is on TV with the volume down low. Just so there's some sound in the empty room other then his own breathing. He doesn't look away from the TV. Suddenly nervous about being in a empty house, even if it's his own.
Yasu suggested listening to KAT-TUN songs in bed to help him sleep. But Yoko very clearly told him that he doesn't want nightmares.
It's those nights alone that he thinks back to how and why this all began. Mostly because he can't believe how lucky he is so has to check every now and then that this is all real. He'll always remember how particularly hard it was working on Dream Boys. There was no real reason for him to approach Ueda for anything not related to the stage show, yet he so desperately wanted to. There was something so enticing about Ueda. He was an oddity at the Jimusho. Wearing dark clothes and listening to just as dark music. Yet he was so pretty and friendly. A walking contradiction. When he smiled his whole face would glow. But Yoko always thought he was more breath takingly gorgeous. The kind of beauty that if you dwell on it for too long, you convince yourself that no normal human can look like that. He needed to just be near him.
He'd make excuses to himself, because frankly no one else really cared what he got up to, and go up to Ueda. To get help on certain lines or particular dance moves. He was always so polite, but there was nothing there except a distinct awkwardness between the two of them. And on reflection maybe that was a good thing, because over the years they eventually became closer. Not because they were forced together and had to make do, but because they wanted to. That romantic in Yoko rears his head again and reasons that two people who are meant to be, will find each other no matter what. As clichéd as it sounds.
When Ryo's and Ueda's feud was at it's peak, Yoko began to panic. Of course the majority of it was scripted, but it was undeniable that the two men did rile each other up slightly. Hina used to refer to it as “Ryoda Gate”. Ryo has since admitted he took it too far at some points and deeply regrets it. He's not a horrible person. But even slight tension between two people you care about can shatter your heart. Despite all that it was actually Ryo who found out first about them. Of course in the beginning he didn't believe it. Why would he? Ueda and Yoko are worlds apart. But he was soon at Yoko's side, promising to be there for him if he ever needed to talk. Just so overjoyed that he was happy.
Yoko always thought Ryo is a fantastically open and accepting person, but that day he really showed Yoko how amazing he really is. Now that everything is comfortable, Ryo sometimes even tag teams up with Ueda to mock Yoko. A lot of the time it's still the other way round, even though they let that ship sail a long time ago. Ryo taking little jabs at Ueda here and there. But this time it's different. Ryo seems to do it with something akin to fondness that makes Yoko's heart swell. And the small hint of pain that would shine ever so slightly in Ueda's eyes at Ryo's unintentionally hurtful words is no longer there.
It's on these train rides to and from Osaka he always pictures Ueda sitting next to him. Jotting down lyrics or sharing a pair of head phones with Yoko. The empty train becomes so depressing when Ueda isn't there to fill up with carriage with warmth. Just his presence is enough make Yoko calm down, to feel at ease, in a way he's never experienced before. It's different from the familiar comfort he feels with Kanjani8. He just wants to curl up into the seat next to Ueda until he reaches his stop. Feeling safe and not distinctly alone.
It's pretty well known that the Yoko off camera is a lot quieter then the Yoko on. He's shy, loving and maybe even a little on the sensitive side. Ueda is really the only person outside of Kanjani8, and a few other choice people, to accept that and truly understand. Yoko loves him for that. He can be whoever he wants with Ueda. Loud, boisterous on screen Yoko or the Yoko that just wants to sit and listen to Ueda play his guitar for hours on end. That's why whenever he's away from him, his heart breaks a little. It's truly a wonder to feel complete and utter acceptance from someone. Yoko's become addicted to it. Craves Ueda. So much so he wants to share these empty train rides with him even though they're trivial, yet such a major part of his every day life. He wants to share everything with Ueda.
Yoko feels a soft vibration. His phone that he was still clutching lighting up and buzzing in his hand. The display reads, “Princess,” but he's pretty sure it's not Uchi calling.
“Hello,” He croaks. His voice having been relatively unused for most of the day.
“Hey, it's me.” Just hearing that velvety voice makes Yoko's ears burn. A heat soon spreads itself across his chest and a shiver makes it's way down his spine, leaving his whole body tingling.
“Are you nearly home?” Yoko smiles and leans back into the seat, gazing out the window as the world streaks past. Home is always where Ueda is.
With Time
The bar isn't that fancy, but it's not a dive either. It's a well frequented place by many of the older boys in Johnny's Entertainment that don't want to get bothered by fans or the press and risk a big scandal. It's a little secret because it allows the boys to act their age and be normal for a few hours. A true sanctuary.
That evening Yamapi walks into the familiar setting, intending to meet up with Jin for a bit of a cool down. Yamapi needs to relax for a bit and he hasn't been seeing enough of Jin as he would like lately. As he closes in on the bar, he sees a somewhat familiar figure slightly hunched over on a stool. Knocking back drinks at an alarming rate.
“Yokoyama-kun?”
The figure glances up and Yamapi's stunned at how terrible he looks. Yamapi slides into the stool next to the man and orders a drink. With worry eating away at him, he wonders whether or not he should call Ryo. Then again, Yoko's a grown man, he should be able to take care of himself.
Unsure how to start up a conversation, he goes for the simple option. Something to do with work.
“How are things with Kanjani8?” The man grumbles a fine but doesn't look in Yamapi's direction. Yamapi flounders, he and Yokoyama don't exactly have much in common. He tries again.
“Ryo-chan can't stop talking about Murakami-kun and Maruyama-kun. Seems like they're really happy.” Yamapi recalls Ryo gushing about how Maru and Hina have started seeing each other. So proud of his band mates and just completely overjoyed for the both of them.
“Hina and Maru? Oh yeah they're fantastic.” He spits out rather aggressively. That's a shock to Yamapi's system, aren't the three of them close? He doesn't think he's ever heard Yoko sound like that. It's not very pleasant.
“Actually, I haven't really spoken to them much about,” He waves a hand in the air and pulls a face, “You know. It. So who knows how they're doing.”
Yamapi stays quiet, unsure as to how to respond. Yoko takes his silence as encouragement to go on, finally finding an outlet to rant to.
“Really though, what am I supposed to say? 'Congratulations! I hope you have a fantastic, gay sex filled, life'?” Yoko raises the glass in a mock toast, before slamming it back down onto the bar. Liquid spilling out all over his hand which is clenched so tightly, his knuckles are white.
“How about, 'I'm happy for you'?” Yamapi ventures slowly, his eyes wide. Yoko looks at him as if he grew another head.
“I don't think you understand the severity of the situation.” Something about Yoko's current state clicks in his mind. The tone, the underlining feelings he's picking up on, it's all so familiar. Yamapi lets out a long sigh as he realises he probably has more in common with Yoko then he first thought.
“It's not like I care, I love them both too much. I'm not homophobic.” He turns his eyes on Yamapi, as if pleading with him to believe him.
“Shit. I'm far from being homophobic.” Yoko mumbles before letting his forehead connect with the wooden surface.
He continues to talk into the counter, “I mean, I was only joking. I didn't really think anything was actually going on between them. Now I kind of feel responsible.”
He brings his head back up and laughs loudly, but it's false even to foreign ears.
“Which is stupid right? If they wanted to fuck, they'd fuck. Not because I suggested anything of the sort. It's not like I actually matter.”
“It's not like I even had a chance.” He says, obviously forgetting Yamapi is listening.
Yamapi almost can't believe he's having this conversation with Yoko. He half expects the rest of Kanjani8 to pop up from behind the bar, shouting out that he was being filmed for a new section on one of their programmes. Something about gullible idiots probably. He looks at his watch before turning towards the door and making a small whining noise at the back of his throat. Where the hell is Jin?
“Come on Yokoyama-kun.” Yamapi pats his back awkwardly and stiffly. He finds himself itching to ask which one he's in love with. It's clear as day that Yoko is utterly heart broken. Conflicted and confused, battling with his emotions. One side of him that loves his two band mates, and wants them to be happy, battling with the side that's in love with one of them.
He feels like he should say something profound. Give some advice. Despite the fact that Yoko obviously doesn't realise what sort of information he's divulging, to someone he's not particularly close with no less. He's frankly well on his way to passing out or throwing up his entire stomach. Yamapi decides to take a stab at it, his own thoughts already becoming cloudy as he begins to get a bit tipsy.
“Unrequited love,” He begins and takes a long sip of his drink, “Can be soul destroying, but only if you let it be.”
Yoko splutters, his alcohol flushed face turning darker from the blush creeping its way up his neck. Yamapi can't help but look down in embarrassment as he realises how corny that sounded.
He thinks about Ryo and Shige. How happy they make each other. Whilst he loves Shige with all of his heart, he wants nothing more then for him to be happy. And Ryo makes him happy. Infact, he's never seen either of them look so content. They practically glow when they walk into work. That thought alone is enough to help him push on with his life. For the moment at least.
Yoko sags even more into his seat, bringing another full glass to his lips, “As if you understand.” He snorts into his drink, sounding more then a little bitter.
“I understand.”
Yoko eyes Yamapi wearily for a few moments, before his mouth drops open into a small 'o'. Understanding the mans implication even in his drunken haze.
“Ryo and Shige.” he whispers, more to himself then to Yamapi.
Yamapi begins to panic. No one knows about his feelings towards Shige and here he is, telling Ryo's band mate of all people. Crap, there's no turning back now. He orders another drink and prays Yoko wont remember this in the morning.
“Which one.” Yoko shyly begins to ask, leaving the end of the question hanging.
Yamapi pauses with his glass inches away from his mouth, “Shige,” he says simply before knocking back the whole drink.
Yoko smiles gently, looking somewhat himself for the first time that night. Radiating something like relief and a strange sense of comaraderie.
“Hina.” He replies and Yamapi smiles back, a comfortable silence surrounding them.
His phone suddenly lights up with a small tune and a vibration. Flipping it open, he sighs as he reads the message. Jin can't make it. Well damn, he sort of figured that out by now.
“Well, looks like Jin has stood me up. I suppose I should be going seeing as I still have work tomorrow.” He slaps some money down on the bar, enough to cover Yoko's tab as well, and he stands up. Before Yamapi can even get out a bye and take care, Yoko stumbles into his side, clutching at his shirt.
Glazed and unfocussed eyes search Yamapi's face, “Why doesn't Hina love me like he loves Maru?” He questions, as if Yamapi knows the answer.
Yamapi thinks he feels what's left of his heart breaking for Yoko. It's not an attractive sight to see the usually so confident, loud and happy man so defeated. So confused. He'll admit that at times he's felt intimated by him. Not in a bad way, but he's so charismatic in his interviews and performances, that Yamapi's fills he pales in comparison. It must be an Osakan thing. It must be a Kanjani8 thing he corrects, as he thinks fondly of the other members, seeing as they all succeed in making him feel quite awkward at times.
He looks into Yoko's sad eyes. Brimming with unshed tears. Yamapi wonders if this is what he's looked like over these past months and sort of hates himself. Wonders if anyone noticed. Well, if they did, no one said anything about it. No one offered a shoulder to cry on. The thought makes Yamapi feel desperately lonely.
Whatever heartfelt, yet somehow meaningless reply, he has dies on the tip of his tongue. It's probably the alcohol that makes him lean over, but on hindsight it was more likely the intense pain that washed over him as he realised he may never get over feeling like this. His face hovering so close to Yoko's, before he places a gentle kiss on his lips. They're so soft, plush and sweet. They seem to cushion Yamapi's own so perfectly. Up close he can't help but think Yoko's gorgeous. Flawless, porcelain skin and beautiful almond shaped eyes. He fleetingly thinks Hina doesn't know what he's missing. It takes Yoko to start kissing back to knock Yamapi back to his senses and he draws away.
“Lets, just get you home,” He certainly can't leave him on his own now, “You've had far too much tonight. We both have.”
Yoko sobers up a fraction.
“Yeah, you're right,” Yoko stuffs his hands into his pockets as he follows the other man out of the door, wavering quite bit on unsteady legs, “Sorry.”
Yamapi glances at him out the corner of his eye.
“There's no need to apologize, It was my fault.”
They both stand in silence outside the bar until a cab arrives. Arms wrapped tightly around themselves and not looking at each other. When one finally pulls up, Yamapi opens the door for Yoko who stumbles in, looking back at Yamapi with questioning eyes.
“I'm going to walk back I think. Need to clear my head a bit.” He gazes off into the night sky, focusing on a bright star just above the building on the opposite side of the road. He turns back to the car.
“You,” Yamapi shifts from foot to foot and rubs his right arm absentmindedly, “Can call me any time you want, you know. Or if you just want to hang out that's fine too.”
Yoko pauses and nods, “Thank you, same goes for you.” Sounding more together and sure of himself then he has the whole night. Yamapi can't help but feel that's a small victory.
He shuts the door and raises his hand up at the window in a wave. Yamapi watches until his cab is out of sight.
Eyes Wide Shut
Forsalwaphoenix. Sorry it's so late sweetness~
It did start off as a crush, he can admit that. He couldn't stop himself from following Ohno around like a little puppy and then feel on top of the world when the older mans attention was on him. And he knew immediately it was a crush. He's not stupid and he's comfortable with his sexuality, whatever the hell it may be. Maybe it's not odd in the sense that Jun found himself gravitating towards Ohno, after all, he has always been the oldest in Arashi. But it was always so much more then plain respect and adoration. Jun knew this because it was so entirely different from what he felt towards Sho.
Though, he's not completely sure if it what he felt for Ohno has developed over the years into anything more. It's not like he ever tried to fall in love. He was always under the impression that someone would come along eventually. There was other stuff that was always way more important, other things he wanted to occupy his time with. But he's grown up and he's learnt to deal with a million different emotions. He's an adult now and the thought of love doesn't seem like the sort of thing that happens to other people anymore. And the idea of a crush at his age seems increasingly silly.
The hardest part of growing up with a crush on Ohno was seeing him be so intensely intimate with Nino. Jun understands they have a natural pull that even they probably don't understand but frankly, he wants something like that. Maybe it's too much to hope for, wishing to have something like that with Ohno also. But when something so precious is dangled in front of you it's natural to crave it. To reach out with both hands and grasp at the treasure, protecting and cherishing it. He's seen what he could have with Ohno and he wants it. So desperately wants it.
Jun's sadistic side still likes seeing Nino agitated when Ohno is being preoccupied by him. They use Ohno to piss each other off. Which started off unintentionally at first as they both simply liked Ohno's company. Yet Nino would become whingy when Ohno was with Jun and Jun would become more snappy when Ohno was with Nino. So it sort of developed into a game without either of them really acknowledging it had become that. Which Ohno never seemed to mind. He got, and still gets, a lot of attention out of it. And maybe, yeah, Jun does get genuinely jealous at their very obvious double act thing they have going on. But Nino doesn't need to actually know why.
Maybe it's the circumstances. If Ohno was a woman, not a close friend of whom he considers something akin to a sibling, would he be so reluctant to admit his feelings to him? When it comes to a partner, Jun has set scenarios. He wants to be able to take his lover out on dates and not have to worry about the press bothering them every minute. Spoiling them and being spoiled in return. Days full of laughter, passion, understanding and acceptance. But he has to think realistically. They could lose their jobs if he ever got the chance to have that with Ohno.
Jun likes to think he'd give everything up for the person he loves, but he also loves his job. Infact, the longest love affair he's ever had has been with his job. He adores every aspect of it and Ohno is part of it. Is there any point in jeopardizing that when it's almost perfect anyway? He's always laughing when Ohno's near, he feels passionate when he performs next to him, he understands and accepts Ohno for who he is and that sentiment is returned.
Jun still marvels at how Ohno can come into work silently, sit down in the practice room and just immerse himself in his thoughts. But just as easily come to life. Bringing power, energy and even a comfortable warmth to their live shows. Jun isn't afraid or nervous when Ohno's near. That may be a ridiculously cheesy thing to say considering his possible feelings towards the other man, but it's true. Live performances still get to him but all it takes is a small smile from their Leader and he can take on the world.
He came to terms with the idea that the Ohno that twists and turns his body with such grace on stage is the same Ohno that can concentrate on one piece of art work for days on end pretty early on. He is who he is and is not afraid of revealing his quirks. Jun's enamoured by him because he's never met anyone like him before and probably never will again. He doesn't have to treat him delicately. He may look cuddly and spacey but Ohno is just as much of a little bastard as Nino. Which, Jun reasons, may not be a good thing to like about him as it still kind of pisses him off when Nino acts that way. Even after all these years when they should be immune to each others less desirable traits.
“Jun-kun is thinking too much.” Ohno murmurs into the side of Jun's neck, pressing him into the wall. Long fingers deep in Jun's hair, pulling him down slightly to Ohno's height.
Jun has learned to stop being surprised when it concerns Ohno, and hell, if this is what happens when he just lets Ohno do his thing rather then thinking about everything to much and dwelling on 'what if's', he's not complaining. He can't help but feel that after years of watching Ohno he should of seen this coming. If he's so in love, which he is beginning to think he is, shouldn't he of anticipated this? Or maybe he's been blind all these years. Blinded by fear of rejection, blinded by the worry of keeping everything how it should be...blinded by love. Shit.
Jun relents, letting out a long breath before sliding his hands up Ohno's forearms until he reaches the back of his head. Hands gentle in his hair as he guides Ohno's face out of the side of his neck to press his lips against his.
He's not sure what this is, but wishes it had happened a long time ago.
Tactics
Sho has seen a lot whilst being Arashi and, if asked, he'd easily say that there isn't much left that would take him by surprise. But he always forgets to consider the 'Aiba Factor'. What comes out of his mouth, and the certain things Sho has to stop him from putting in his mouth, still astounds him. And maybe he forgets because he tries to block those moments out most of the time.
His hand stills on the door handle when he hears a big thump from the other side of the door. Mumbling and shuffling about. Alarm bells start going off and if he could, Sho would run for the hills. Unfortunately, his wallet is in there and he's taking Jun out for dinner. Cautiously he pushes the door open, barely restraining from closing his eyes. Sticking his head in he almost wishes he did, favouring to wander in and search blindly for his wallet. But he considers himself relatively sane.
His eyes zero in on the two people on the small sofa in the dressing room. One being his band mate and the other, well, he's not sure who that is, “Aiba.”
“Yes.” Aiba replies politely. Too politely, with his legs crossed and back straight.
“What are you doing?” He walks in further, closing the door behind him. No one needs to see this, it really would just confirm a lot about Arashi that Sho isn't sure he really wants people knowing.
“Me? I'm just,” He grabs a random book, “Reading.”
He peers closer at what he can see of the figure next to Aiba. Gloved hands tapping out a rhythm on a bare knee.
“Is that Daigo-san?”
Aiba hesitates before answering, fiddling with the pages of the manga in his lap, “No.”
“Hello Daigo.” Sho greets as he walks over to the table to grab his bag, shocking himself that he can manage to sound so casual.
“Yo.” Comes the muffled reply, Daigo's deep and lazy voice still very distinct even through the material.
Aiba groans and slides the jacket off his head, frowning. Daigo pops out from the makeshift hiding place, hair sticking up in all directions, and raises his hand to his temple in a salute to Sho as he walks back over to them.
“Just for reference, I would of been less surprised if I walked in on the two of you making out, no, having sex then walking in to see Daigo with your coat over his head.” Sho stuffs his wallet into his jeans and pauses as he looks over at the two men staring at him.
“With no trousers on. Your coat. Over his head. With no trousers on.” He pinches his nose in despair at that after thought, as it really shouldn't be an after thought. Aiba's done it, he's finally brought him down to his level.
“Duly noted Sho-chan.” Aiba chirps as he swings a leg over Daigo's thighs, ready to pull himself into his lap. Daigo all to willing to go with the flow as he reaches out to help.
“Wait until I'm gone now though!” Sho shrieks before quickly leaving, slamming the door shut loudly so hopefully it'll remind them to lock the damn thing.
Really though, he should just get used to it because northing's ever going to change.
Second Meeting
He sees the familiar head bobbing in and out of the crowd. Swerving between the mass of bodies and trying to stay on his feet as he gets violently jostled about, disappearing for a few seconds before resurfacing. Matsuoka is about to call out when he sees a big burly man, too preoccupied on his phone to see the younger man, whack forcefully into him.
In a flash Matsuoka is struggling through the crowd and at the other mans side, steadying him with an arm around his shoulders and holding him in close protectively. The smaller man looks up in surprise, obvious confusion flickering across his features before eventually settling into recognition. Maybe with just a tinge of awkwardness as he realises he's pressed into someone he doesn't really know.
“I didn't know if it was you or not,” Matsuoka grins down at him, “Kind of glad it is now.” His glasses slipping down his nose as he tilts his head.
“Do I look really that different without pyjamas on?” The man jokes and Matsuoka smiles widely, steering them both out of the crowd.
Once they're out and on a relatively clear side walk, Matsuoka finally releases the shorter man from his hold. Quickly thrusting out a hand in greeting.
“I'm Matsuoka.”
“Taichi.” He grasps Matsuoka's hand and shakes it firmly.
Matsuoka just about stops himself from saying, yeah I know, because he really didn't. He doesn't know a thing about this man. But he can't help but think it strange that it felt like he did. Or does. Or, hell, should.
“I work odd hours, wouldn't of been good for me to keep a dog.” He blurts out, feeling like he should explain himself before they go any further.
Taichi smiles slightly, feeling immediate fondness towards the man who really isn't at all like he expected. He's sort of cute, “My apartment's kind of small.” He adds just as simply and Matsuoka nods in understanding.
They walk side by side, Taichi idly playing with the strap of his messenger bag that's crossed against his chest. Matsuoka swinging his briefcase back and forth as he contemplates whether or not to ask. Ask what he's been hoping he'd get the chance to ever since he saw the other man on that rainy day.
He's bumped into the three other men already. The sushi restaurant by his house is actually owned by Joshima, and Yamaguchi often frequents it. He finds himself in there with the two of them an ever increasing amount lately. Their company comfortable and relaxing. He literally ran into Nagase, and the two of them quickly hit it off. Meeting up regularly for a drink. But Taichi was the one he couldn't stop thinking about and, up until now, hadn't met properly. Well, here goes nothing.
“I may not have the time for a pet, but human beings are usually an exception.” He begins rather sheepishly, “My apartment is close, just a couple of streets away.” That's enough surely, because then the other man can make what he wants of it. Plus if he gets turned down, Matsuoka can pretend he never asked anything particularly suggestive in the first place and didn't make a complete fool out of himself.
Taichi raises his eyebrows, amusement playing across his face. Smiling rather mischievously, making his eyes crinkle up at the corners.
“Really? Mine is closer and I suppose I could make room for you.” He doesn't wait for Matsuoka to reply and takes him by the arm as they change direction. Going to the right as opposed to straight ahead where Matsuoka was planning on going. But if it's Taichi leading him, Matsuoka is pretty sure he'll always be willing to go right.
Camaraderie
Yano climbs the already familiar stairs of the TV-Yuuhi building. It's not even that late into filming today and he already needs to escape. Clear his head and cool down, because if he had stuck around that pompous idiot any longer he would of blown again. Regardless of what Manabe says, he is trying his best. For her and for himself. But that doesn't stop it from being difficult.
The cold air hits him as he opens the door to the roof, momentarily stealing his breath away. Hunched forward over by the wall, in Yano's usual spot, is Saitou. Legs drawn up to his chest, resting his chin on his knees. He actually wondered where the other man had gone. He'd greeted Yano cheerfully, just like any other morning, but after a few knocks and jabs courtesy of that damn Prince it wasn't hard to see that Saitou's optimism was being slowly chipped away at. About an hour or so ago, he excused himself and hadn't returned. No one seemed to bothered though.
He walks up to the other man and presses the warm side of the cup of coffee he was carrying against Saitou's temple, keeping it there until he tilts his head slightly to look up at Yano.
“Here.”
Saitou looks so desperately uncertain at the simple gesture, that Yano nudges his head with the cup a little harder then necessary whilst trying to keep his face passive. Saitou eventually reaches up and takes the offered drink, nodding in thanks as he takes off the lid and breathes in the scent. Resigning to the fact he's out of luck on having a bit of alone time, Yano sits down next to Saitou. Stretching his legs out in front of him.
A few minutes pass and he begins to feel restless. He clicks his tongue and lets out a short hissing noise as he realises why.
“Annoying.” He leans his head back against the wall, the wind ruffling his hair and making his cheeks sting a little bit.
“What is?” Saitou shuffles around, taking small sips of the coffee.
“The fact that I've already got so used to you being all happy and energetic, that seeing you like this kind of pisses me off.” He shifts around so he can pull a packet of cigarettes and a lighter out the back pocket of his jeans. He takes a stick out and places it between his lips, lighting it easily and breathing in deeply.
He glances to the side, seeing Saitou smiling lightly to himself and playing absentmindely with the ridged side of the cup. Legs now stretched out along side Yano's own, almost touching.
“Shit, your moods sure fluctuate.” He mumbles round the cigarette, blowing smoke out the corner of his mouth.
“I just suddenly feel a lot better.” Saitou smiles warmly at him and Yano has to turn away, frowning in confusion because he suddenly feels a lot better too.
Yasu the Friendly Ghost
Subaru isn't shocked when he sees a ghost in front of him. He's always liked to think that he's been able to sense other presences and has always maintained the stance that death isn't the end, not so much in the religious sense mind you. He's not scared either. He's always been a fan of horror films and the prospect of ghosts has always intrigued him rather then freaked him out. It's not that he's particularly into the occult either, but it is an interesting subject. Sure he had a couple of upside down crucifixes when he was a teenager but that's because he thought he was being cool and mysterious.
Subaru's also always wanted to live in a haunted house, though has never actually experienced anything in his current home. Despite Maru always insisting that his apartment block was built on an ancient burial ground that is. The first time he said so, It freaked Ryo out so much he wouldn't come round for a whole month. Of course, they rightfully teased him. So much so that he had reached the point where he felt his masculinity was being threatened and he eventually forced himself back into Subaru's house.
What does leave Subaru confused is this particular ghost. He isn't at all what Subaru envisioned a ghost to look like. He isn't completely white or floating like the stereotypical image many people would imagine. There is a slight misty quality to him, but he looks pretty solid and whole. If you squint hard enough you could probably see through him, but only just. The colours of his rather outlandish clothes and painted nails vibrant. He's quite striking actually. He certainly doesn't look like he's been dead for very long. Maru was obviously bullshitting about the ancient burial thing.
“Hi.” He chirps and Subaru just gawks. He can't help but wonder what he's got to be happy about, he's dead after all. Subaru reasons he wouldn't be a ray of sunshine if he was dead and stuck haunting some random guy.
“Hello.” He says slowly as he drops his keys onto the coffee table and throws his jacket over the sofa.
“I'm Yasu, I've been haunting you for a while now but I thought I'd introduce myself.”
“I'm Subaru.” He nods his head in greeting.
The ghost giggles and smiles widely, “I know who you are, I wouldn't not know the name of the guy I've been haunting.” Fair enough.
Subaru raises an eyebrow, “You say you've been haunting me, well, no offence but you haven't exactly done a good job. I didn't even know you were here.”
The boy taps his finger against his bottom lip, “You kind of seem like a nervous wreck. Always rushing in and out. I didn't want to disturb you when you finally got relaxed.” A compassionate ghost. That's a new one. Though admittedly, he is all over the place a lot recently. Juggling various odd jobs whilst trying to keep the band together.
Yasu continues, “Plus, it's not like I want to scare you to death. I'm a poltergeist by trade.” He smiles proudly as he announces his occupation before realising something and his shoulders sag.
“Wait, you didn't notice that I've been moving your stuff about?” Yasu's face falls and the room seems to get colder.
“I just thought I was misplacing things.” Subaru shrugs.
“Oh wow, I suck at being a poltergeist.” He whines and pouts. A silence stretches between the two of them. Should he apologize? He's not sure what for but he sort of feels he should. It's not his fault he didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Now if the kid had flipped his bed over or made his TV levitate, maybe.
Subaru goes to walk closer to the ghost but isn't watching where he's going and smacks his knee into the corner of the coffee table. The ghost laughs sweetly, but shrilly, and Subaru all but forgets the pain in his leg in favour of watching his eyes crinkle up and mouth open wide, showing perfect teeth. For someone who's dead, he sure brings a lot of life to Subaru's small living room.
But one thing has been bugging Subaru since the beginning of this whole strange encounter. The slightly morbid side of him eager to learn more about Yasu's obviously untimely demise. He's seen the Sixth Sense after all, and the ghosts in it had visible marks from their death. From a still open gunshot wound to hideous scarring from burns. Yasu looks pretty intact. Maybe it doesn't work that way in real life.
“How did you die?” Subaru ventures delicately, still clutching at his knee and rubbing at his bruised skin through his jeans. The ghost pulls a face, waving his hand dismissively.
“That's not important.” Subaru frowns. Well it sort of is. He's about to protest when Yasu points at his guitar.
“I listen to you play,” He grins widely at the man, “And sing. You're amazing.” The ghost says dreamily, clasping his hands together in front of him under his chin.
Subaru can't help but flush. All those times he's sat down and sung, assuming he's alone, but he was being listened to. Subaru's eyes widen, he should really take care as to what he does in his alone time from now on.
“It's been so long since I've picked up a guitar.” Yasu stares forlornly at the instrument propped up against the sofa, oblivious to Subaru's inner turmoil.
Subaru feels his heart ache,“Do you want me to play for you now?”
Yasu bounces eagerly on his toes and nods, quickly joining Subaru over by the sofa.
Thye both make themselves comfortable and soon he begins to play, the ghost humming the tune next to him.
“I've heard you play this a lot.” He smiles at Subaru, who can't help but smile back. Maybe he wont mind this particular ghost hanging around. After a few more moments of idle strumming, Subaru feels an icy cold on the back of his hand. Stopping his playing, he looks down to see a hand on top of his. Sending shivers up his arm and making the small hairs on his arm stand on end, raising the skin into goosebumps.
“I do want to tell you,” Yasu begins, “How I died.”
Subaru can't stop his heart beat from speeding up. Not many people get to experience this.
“It's just, it didn't happen very long ago and I suppose I'm still a bit bitter about the whole thing.” Yasu laughs but there isn't a trace of humour in it. Subaru wishes he could do something.
“Whenever you're ready, I'm here to listen.” He unconsciously goes to wrap his fingers round Yasu's hand but connects with nothing. He frowns, forgetting he can't actually touch the other man. The thought leaves a pain in his chest. He can't help but feel they should have met a long time ago.
Seemingly not noticing Subaru's expression the small ghost jumps up. His bright, and genuine Subaru notes, smile back at hearing Subaru's comforting words.
“When are you're friends coming round next?”
Subaru laughs fondly as he places the guitar down next to him.
“Hey, I know what you're thinking, but I don't think it'd be such a good idea to appear in front of them just yet.” He pauses before breaking out into a huge devious smile, “But feel free to mess with Ryo.”
House Call
Linked to my previous Ryo/Shige The Princess is in Another Castle
Shige sits in his living room turning the small piece of paper around in his hand, ripping the corners ever so slightly. So he gave in and called the plumbers number. He's man enough to admit that the prospect of another encounter like before wouldn't be something he'd be adverse to. And this time he'll be ready and not left, literally, hanging. Plus he knows for a fact Koyama is away today visiting distant relatives. Very far away and, Shige prays, with very distant relatives. Hopefully it'll be awkward and Koyama will feel deeply uncomfortable. It'll serve him right for being completely oblivious to the world around him.
He doesn't know what possessed him to call the mans work place after getting no answer from the number Ryo gave him, which was obviously a home one. He just automatically rung the number he originally contacted when his pipes burst. He just did it without thinking.
On getting through to the plumbing company, he explained he'd like to take Ryo up on his previous offer of more work. Which made the man on the other end of the line snicker and shout out to someone called Hina about something to do with owing him money.
Hearing the door bell, he immediately jumps up. Smoothing down his shirt and messing up his hair in what he assumes to be a sexy bed head style. He rushes over and eager yanks the door open.
Instead of seeing Ryo with his light yellow uniform, he comes face to face with a significantly taller man in a green jump suit. Just as attractive as Ryo but definitely more on the prettier side. Sort of bored looking, verging on spacey as he slowly looks towards Shige after tearing his eyes away from whatever he was previously gazing at to the side of Shige's house.
“I'm Ohkura Tadayoshi from Eito Plumbing. Ryo-chan's on another job at the moment. Apparently this was urgent so they sent me. Hope that's not a problem.” He even sounds bored. Not that Shige can blame him seeing as he's basically been sent to deal with someone elses work.
Shige visibly deflates but forces a small smile onto his face for the benefit of the other man. There isn't actually much, if anything, for him to do. But Shige's not about to tell him he was expecting hot plumber sex.
“That's not a problem.” He steps out of the way to let the other man through but he abruptly stops next to Shige and leans close next to his ear, placing his hand on his shoulder for balance.
“Don't worry, I'm a lot better then Ryo. I have size on my side.” He straightens up to his full height and smirks, trailing his hand down Shige's arm as he walks into the apartment. Swinging his box of tools. Maybe this is what he gets for phoning an Osaka branch. And no, he's not complaining.
Osaka Rainy Blues
For
shangrilove. I apologize for the ridiculously long wait.Subaru and Maru must have got ahold of his phone at some point. A few numbers now appear to have an extra digit or two, whilst all names have been completely changed. They weren't exactly too imaginative though as Yoko's pretty sure he knows who Gorilla is. He was going to call Ueda. Feeling an ache in his chest to hear the other mans voice, hoping to bring companionship to his otherwise lonely train journey. It's times like this he wishes he could remember phone numbers with ease. He doesn't even know his own one, even though it's been the same for the past five years.
He settles for going through his inbox. Reading old saved messages. He wouldn't openly admit it, even though the rest of Kanjani8 love him for it, but he's a complete sap. The sort of person who is utterly devoted. Keeps silly little notes from his lover and re-reads them a thousand times over with a goofy smile on his face. And maybe it's testament to what Yoko means to Maru and Subaru that they didn't touch his messages from Ueda. He shifts around in his seat, propping himself up against window with his elbow. The light from the screen of his phone illuminating his face in the otherwise dull carriage.
When Ueda isn't around, the time spent in Osaka becomes a burden. It never used to be like that. Osaka was comfortable because Osaka was home. Every night he's away is the same. He twists and turns in his bedsheet. No warm body to grab on to and wrap himself around. No one to talk nonsense to on realisation he isn't the only one having trouble sleeping. He gets up in the middle of the night and just sits in the dark. Watching whatever is on TV with the volume down low. Just so there's some sound in the empty room other then his own breathing. He doesn't look away from the TV. Suddenly nervous about being in a empty house, even if it's his own.
Yasu suggested listening to KAT-TUN songs in bed to help him sleep. But Yoko very clearly told him that he doesn't want nightmares.
It's those nights alone that he thinks back to how and why this all began. Mostly because he can't believe how lucky he is so has to check every now and then that this is all real. He'll always remember how particularly hard it was working on Dream Boys. There was no real reason for him to approach Ueda for anything not related to the stage show, yet he so desperately wanted to. There was something so enticing about Ueda. He was an oddity at the Jimusho. Wearing dark clothes and listening to just as dark music. Yet he was so pretty and friendly. A walking contradiction. When he smiled his whole face would glow. But Yoko always thought he was more breath takingly gorgeous. The kind of beauty that if you dwell on it for too long, you convince yourself that no normal human can look like that. He needed to just be near him.
He'd make excuses to himself, because frankly no one else really cared what he got up to, and go up to Ueda. To get help on certain lines or particular dance moves. He was always so polite, but there was nothing there except a distinct awkwardness between the two of them. And on reflection maybe that was a good thing, because over the years they eventually became closer. Not because they were forced together and had to make do, but because they wanted to. That romantic in Yoko rears his head again and reasons that two people who are meant to be, will find each other no matter what. As clichéd as it sounds.
When Ryo's and Ueda's feud was at it's peak, Yoko began to panic. Of course the majority of it was scripted, but it was undeniable that the two men did rile each other up slightly. Hina used to refer to it as “Ryoda Gate”. Ryo has since admitted he took it too far at some points and deeply regrets it. He's not a horrible person. But even slight tension between two people you care about can shatter your heart. Despite all that it was actually Ryo who found out first about them. Of course in the beginning he didn't believe it. Why would he? Ueda and Yoko are worlds apart. But he was soon at Yoko's side, promising to be there for him if he ever needed to talk. Just so overjoyed that he was happy.
Yoko always thought Ryo is a fantastically open and accepting person, but that day he really showed Yoko how amazing he really is. Now that everything is comfortable, Ryo sometimes even tag teams up with Ueda to mock Yoko. A lot of the time it's still the other way round, even though they let that ship sail a long time ago. Ryo taking little jabs at Ueda here and there. But this time it's different. Ryo seems to do it with something akin to fondness that makes Yoko's heart swell. And the small hint of pain that would shine ever so slightly in Ueda's eyes at Ryo's unintentionally hurtful words is no longer there.
It's on these train rides to and from Osaka he always pictures Ueda sitting next to him. Jotting down lyrics or sharing a pair of head phones with Yoko. The empty train becomes so depressing when Ueda isn't there to fill up with carriage with warmth. Just his presence is enough make Yoko calm down, to feel at ease, in a way he's never experienced before. It's different from the familiar comfort he feels with Kanjani8. He just wants to curl up into the seat next to Ueda until he reaches his stop. Feeling safe and not distinctly alone.
It's pretty well known that the Yoko off camera is a lot quieter then the Yoko on. He's shy, loving and maybe even a little on the sensitive side. Ueda is really the only person outside of Kanjani8, and a few other choice people, to accept that and truly understand. Yoko loves him for that. He can be whoever he wants with Ueda. Loud, boisterous on screen Yoko or the Yoko that just wants to sit and listen to Ueda play his guitar for hours on end. That's why whenever he's away from him, his heart breaks a little. It's truly a wonder to feel complete and utter acceptance from someone. Yoko's become addicted to it. Craves Ueda. So much so he wants to share these empty train rides with him even though they're trivial, yet such a major part of his every day life. He wants to share everything with Ueda.
Yoko feels a soft vibration. His phone that he was still clutching lighting up and buzzing in his hand. The display reads, “Princess,” but he's pretty sure it's not Uchi calling.
“Hello,” He croaks. His voice having been relatively unused for most of the day.
“Hey, it's me.” Just hearing that velvety voice makes Yoko's ears burn. A heat soon spreads itself across his chest and a shiver makes it's way down his spine, leaving his whole body tingling.
“Are you nearly home?” Yoko smiles and leans back into the seat, gazing out the window as the world streaks past. Home is always where Ueda is.
With Time
The bar isn't that fancy, but it's not a dive either. It's a well frequented place by many of the older boys in Johnny's Entertainment that don't want to get bothered by fans or the press and risk a big scandal. It's a little secret because it allows the boys to act their age and be normal for a few hours. A true sanctuary.
That evening Yamapi walks into the familiar setting, intending to meet up with Jin for a bit of a cool down. Yamapi needs to relax for a bit and he hasn't been seeing enough of Jin as he would like lately. As he closes in on the bar, he sees a somewhat familiar figure slightly hunched over on a stool. Knocking back drinks at an alarming rate.
“Yokoyama-kun?”
The figure glances up and Yamapi's stunned at how terrible he looks. Yamapi slides into the stool next to the man and orders a drink. With worry eating away at him, he wonders whether or not he should call Ryo. Then again, Yoko's a grown man, he should be able to take care of himself.
Unsure how to start up a conversation, he goes for the simple option. Something to do with work.
“How are things with Kanjani8?” The man grumbles a fine but doesn't look in Yamapi's direction. Yamapi flounders, he and Yokoyama don't exactly have much in common. He tries again.
“Ryo-chan can't stop talking about Murakami-kun and Maruyama-kun. Seems like they're really happy.” Yamapi recalls Ryo gushing about how Maru and Hina have started seeing each other. So proud of his band mates and just completely overjoyed for the both of them.
“Hina and Maru? Oh yeah they're fantastic.” He spits out rather aggressively. That's a shock to Yamapi's system, aren't the three of them close? He doesn't think he's ever heard Yoko sound like that. It's not very pleasant.
“Actually, I haven't really spoken to them much about,” He waves a hand in the air and pulls a face, “You know. It. So who knows how they're doing.”
Yamapi stays quiet, unsure as to how to respond. Yoko takes his silence as encouragement to go on, finally finding an outlet to rant to.
“Really though, what am I supposed to say? 'Congratulations! I hope you have a fantastic, gay sex filled, life'?” Yoko raises the glass in a mock toast, before slamming it back down onto the bar. Liquid spilling out all over his hand which is clenched so tightly, his knuckles are white.
“How about, 'I'm happy for you'?” Yamapi ventures slowly, his eyes wide. Yoko looks at him as if he grew another head.
“I don't think you understand the severity of the situation.” Something about Yoko's current state clicks in his mind. The tone, the underlining feelings he's picking up on, it's all so familiar. Yamapi lets out a long sigh as he realises he probably has more in common with Yoko then he first thought.
“It's not like I care, I love them both too much. I'm not homophobic.” He turns his eyes on Yamapi, as if pleading with him to believe him.
“Shit. I'm far from being homophobic.” Yoko mumbles before letting his forehead connect with the wooden surface.
He continues to talk into the counter, “I mean, I was only joking. I didn't really think anything was actually going on between them. Now I kind of feel responsible.”
He brings his head back up and laughs loudly, but it's false even to foreign ears.
“Which is stupid right? If they wanted to fuck, they'd fuck. Not because I suggested anything of the sort. It's not like I actually matter.”
“It's not like I even had a chance.” He says, obviously forgetting Yamapi is listening.
Yamapi almost can't believe he's having this conversation with Yoko. He half expects the rest of Kanjani8 to pop up from behind the bar, shouting out that he was being filmed for a new section on one of their programmes. Something about gullible idiots probably. He looks at his watch before turning towards the door and making a small whining noise at the back of his throat. Where the hell is Jin?
“Come on Yokoyama-kun.” Yamapi pats his back awkwardly and stiffly. He finds himself itching to ask which one he's in love with. It's clear as day that Yoko is utterly heart broken. Conflicted and confused, battling with his emotions. One side of him that loves his two band mates, and wants them to be happy, battling with the side that's in love with one of them.
He feels like he should say something profound. Give some advice. Despite the fact that Yoko obviously doesn't realise what sort of information he's divulging, to someone he's not particularly close with no less. He's frankly well on his way to passing out or throwing up his entire stomach. Yamapi decides to take a stab at it, his own thoughts already becoming cloudy as he begins to get a bit tipsy.
“Unrequited love,” He begins and takes a long sip of his drink, “Can be soul destroying, but only if you let it be.”
Yoko splutters, his alcohol flushed face turning darker from the blush creeping its way up his neck. Yamapi can't help but look down in embarrassment as he realises how corny that sounded.
He thinks about Ryo and Shige. How happy they make each other. Whilst he loves Shige with all of his heart, he wants nothing more then for him to be happy. And Ryo makes him happy. Infact, he's never seen either of them look so content. They practically glow when they walk into work. That thought alone is enough to help him push on with his life. For the moment at least.
Yoko sags even more into his seat, bringing another full glass to his lips, “As if you understand.” He snorts into his drink, sounding more then a little bitter.
“I understand.”
Yoko eyes Yamapi wearily for a few moments, before his mouth drops open into a small 'o'. Understanding the mans implication even in his drunken haze.
“Ryo and Shige.” he whispers, more to himself then to Yamapi.
Yamapi begins to panic. No one knows about his feelings towards Shige and here he is, telling Ryo's band mate of all people. Crap, there's no turning back now. He orders another drink and prays Yoko wont remember this in the morning.
“Which one.” Yoko shyly begins to ask, leaving the end of the question hanging.
Yamapi pauses with his glass inches away from his mouth, “Shige,” he says simply before knocking back the whole drink.
Yoko smiles gently, looking somewhat himself for the first time that night. Radiating something like relief and a strange sense of comaraderie.
“Hina.” He replies and Yamapi smiles back, a comfortable silence surrounding them.
His phone suddenly lights up with a small tune and a vibration. Flipping it open, he sighs as he reads the message. Jin can't make it. Well damn, he sort of figured that out by now.
“Well, looks like Jin has stood me up. I suppose I should be going seeing as I still have work tomorrow.” He slaps some money down on the bar, enough to cover Yoko's tab as well, and he stands up. Before Yamapi can even get out a bye and take care, Yoko stumbles into his side, clutching at his shirt.
Glazed and unfocussed eyes search Yamapi's face, “Why doesn't Hina love me like he loves Maru?” He questions, as if Yamapi knows the answer.
Yamapi thinks he feels what's left of his heart breaking for Yoko. It's not an attractive sight to see the usually so confident, loud and happy man so defeated. So confused. He'll admit that at times he's felt intimated by him. Not in a bad way, but he's so charismatic in his interviews and performances, that Yamapi's fills he pales in comparison. It must be an Osakan thing. It must be a Kanjani8 thing he corrects, as he thinks fondly of the other members, seeing as they all succeed in making him feel quite awkward at times.
He looks into Yoko's sad eyes. Brimming with unshed tears. Yamapi wonders if this is what he's looked like over these past months and sort of hates himself. Wonders if anyone noticed. Well, if they did, no one said anything about it. No one offered a shoulder to cry on. The thought makes Yamapi feel desperately lonely.
Whatever heartfelt, yet somehow meaningless reply, he has dies on the tip of his tongue. It's probably the alcohol that makes him lean over, but on hindsight it was more likely the intense pain that washed over him as he realised he may never get over feeling like this. His face hovering so close to Yoko's, before he places a gentle kiss on his lips. They're so soft, plush and sweet. They seem to cushion Yamapi's own so perfectly. Up close he can't help but think Yoko's gorgeous. Flawless, porcelain skin and beautiful almond shaped eyes. He fleetingly thinks Hina doesn't know what he's missing. It takes Yoko to start kissing back to knock Yamapi back to his senses and he draws away.
“Lets, just get you home,” He certainly can't leave him on his own now, “You've had far too much tonight. We both have.”
Yoko sobers up a fraction.
“Yeah, you're right,” Yoko stuffs his hands into his pockets as he follows the other man out of the door, wavering quite bit on unsteady legs, “Sorry.”
Yamapi glances at him out the corner of his eye.
“There's no need to apologize, It was my fault.”
They both stand in silence outside the bar until a cab arrives. Arms wrapped tightly around themselves and not looking at each other. When one finally pulls up, Yamapi opens the door for Yoko who stumbles in, looking back at Yamapi with questioning eyes.
“I'm going to walk back I think. Need to clear my head a bit.” He gazes off into the night sky, focusing on a bright star just above the building on the opposite side of the road. He turns back to the car.
“You,” Yamapi shifts from foot to foot and rubs his right arm absentmindedly, “Can call me any time you want, you know. Or if you just want to hang out that's fine too.”
Yoko pauses and nods, “Thank you, same goes for you.” Sounding more together and sure of himself then he has the whole night. Yamapi can't help but feel that's a small victory.
He shuts the door and raises his hand up at the window in a wave. Yamapi watches until his cab is out of sight.
Eyes Wide Shut
For
salwaphoenix. Sorry it's so late sweetness~It did start off as a crush, he can admit that. He couldn't stop himself from following Ohno around like a little puppy and then feel on top of the world when the older mans attention was on him. And he knew immediately it was a crush. He's not stupid and he's comfortable with his sexuality, whatever the hell it may be. Maybe it's not odd in the sense that Jun found himself gravitating towards Ohno, after all, he has always been the oldest in Arashi. But it was always so much more then plain respect and adoration. Jun knew this because it was so entirely different from what he felt towards Sho.
Though, he's not completely sure if it what he felt for Ohno has developed over the years into anything more. It's not like he ever tried to fall in love. He was always under the impression that someone would come along eventually. There was other stuff that was always way more important, other things he wanted to occupy his time with. But he's grown up and he's learnt to deal with a million different emotions. He's an adult now and the thought of love doesn't seem like the sort of thing that happens to other people anymore. And the idea of a crush at his age seems increasingly silly.
The hardest part of growing up with a crush on Ohno was seeing him be so intensely intimate with Nino. Jun understands they have a natural pull that even they probably don't understand but frankly, he wants something like that. Maybe it's too much to hope for, wishing to have something like that with Ohno also. But when something so precious is dangled in front of you it's natural to crave it. To reach out with both hands and grasp at the treasure, protecting and cherishing it. He's seen what he could have with Ohno and he wants it. So desperately wants it.
Jun's sadistic side still likes seeing Nino agitated when Ohno is being preoccupied by him. They use Ohno to piss each other off. Which started off unintentionally at first as they both simply liked Ohno's company. Yet Nino would become whingy when Ohno was with Jun and Jun would become more snappy when Ohno was with Nino. So it sort of developed into a game without either of them really acknowledging it had become that. Which Ohno never seemed to mind. He got, and still gets, a lot of attention out of it. And maybe, yeah, Jun does get genuinely jealous at their very obvious double act thing they have going on. But Nino doesn't need to actually know why.
Maybe it's the circumstances. If Ohno was a woman, not a close friend of whom he considers something akin to a sibling, would he be so reluctant to admit his feelings to him? When it comes to a partner, Jun has set scenarios. He wants to be able to take his lover out on dates and not have to worry about the press bothering them every minute. Spoiling them and being spoiled in return. Days full of laughter, passion, understanding and acceptance. But he has to think realistically. They could lose their jobs if he ever got the chance to have that with Ohno.
Jun likes to think he'd give everything up for the person he loves, but he also loves his job. Infact, the longest love affair he's ever had has been with his job. He adores every aspect of it and Ohno is part of it. Is there any point in jeopardizing that when it's almost perfect anyway? He's always laughing when Ohno's near, he feels passionate when he performs next to him, he understands and accepts Ohno for who he is and that sentiment is returned.
Jun still marvels at how Ohno can come into work silently, sit down in the practice room and just immerse himself in his thoughts. But just as easily come to life. Bringing power, energy and even a comfortable warmth to their live shows. Jun isn't afraid or nervous when Ohno's near. That may be a ridiculously cheesy thing to say considering his possible feelings towards the other man, but it's true. Live performances still get to him but all it takes is a small smile from their Leader and he can take on the world.
He came to terms with the idea that the Ohno that twists and turns his body with such grace on stage is the same Ohno that can concentrate on one piece of art work for days on end pretty early on. He is who he is and is not afraid of revealing his quirks. Jun's enamoured by him because he's never met anyone like him before and probably never will again. He doesn't have to treat him delicately. He may look cuddly and spacey but Ohno is just as much of a little bastard as Nino. Which, Jun reasons, may not be a good thing to like about him as it still kind of pisses him off when Nino acts that way. Even after all these years when they should be immune to each others less desirable traits.
“Jun-kun is thinking too much.” Ohno murmurs into the side of Jun's neck, pressing him into the wall. Long fingers deep in Jun's hair, pulling him down slightly to Ohno's height.
Jun has learned to stop being surprised when it concerns Ohno, and hell, if this is what happens when he just lets Ohno do his thing rather then thinking about everything to much and dwelling on 'what if's', he's not complaining. He can't help but feel that after years of watching Ohno he should of seen this coming. If he's so in love, which he is beginning to think he is, shouldn't he of anticipated this? Or maybe he's been blind all these years. Blinded by fear of rejection, blinded by the worry of keeping everything how it should be...blinded by love. Shit.
Jun relents, letting out a long breath before sliding his hands up Ohno's forearms until he reaches the back of his head. Hands gentle in his hair as he guides Ohno's face out of the side of his neck to press his lips against his.
He's not sure what this is, but wishes it had happened a long time ago.
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Date: 2009-02-02 04:07 pm (UTC)and all the other stories are wonderful gems as well :) i love ur introspection, so gorgeous ^_^
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Date: 2009-02-04 01:02 am (UTC)Thank you so much for reading~